Tips for Dating the Hilarious and the Humorless
Can Relationships Without Humor - or Different Senses of Humor - Last?
Dear April Masini,
I met a great guy and we have so much in common. We share the same religious, professional, and family values and we even have a lot of the same hobbies. Perfect right? The only problem is, I don't get his sense of humor at all. And he doesn't seem to get mine either. Whenever I say something I think is funny, he looks at me kind of cross-eyed, and same goes for when he tells a joke. But we could talk about our philosophy on life all day long...and sometimes I think that's more meaningful. Is this relationship doomed, or is what everyone says about sense of humor being the most important trait really not true? I don't want to continue dating this guy if we're not going to last, but I don't want to dump a guy I have so much in common with. Do you have any advice for me?"
Sincerely, Love Without Laughter
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Love Without Laughter,
There is so much joy and a feeling of “clicking” with someone when you both share the same point of view on family, life, career. And when you both have the same sense of humor and find the same things funny, it’s an aphrodisiac more potent than Viagra. In fact, why do you think the short, funny looking guys get the great girls? The funny is the sex appeal. And if you believe that — and you should because it’s true — you’ll understand that humor is a magnet between two people of the opposite sex.
So what happens when you have a different kind of sense of humor from your date?
Here are some tips to help guide you in the right direction:
For the girls with humorless boyfriends
- If he makes a joke and you’re waiting for the punch-line, long after the punch-line’s been told, you could have a deal breaker on your hands. If you don't think any of the same things are funny, it's not a good sign for your relationship.
- If he makes a joke and you get it, but don’t think it’s that funny, you can learn to live with it. Not everybody is everything for everyone, and your partner doesn’t have to be (and probably won’t be) everything for you. The trick to a relationship is having enough of your needs met, and if he’s funny enough, then laugh it off and enjoy other things about him.
And for the girls with hilarious boyfriends
- If he makes a joke, and you laugh so hard your face hurts, but everything else isn’t in place, make a list of his assets and debits — and your compatibilities and incompatibilities. Include sense of humor as a compatibility and an asset. But it isn’t everything.
- If he’s funny and a jerk, drop him like a hot potato. You can pay 20 bucks at a comedy club to get a good laugh without having to sit through dinner and a movie — or more.
As you can see, a great sense of humor isn't everything, but your relationship probably won't last if you don't share any of the same jokes. Sure, you have a lot of the same things in common, but there are probably plenty of guys you could meet that have a lot in common with you, and who can make you laugh too. Just imagine coming home every night to a man who doesn't give you the giggles once in a while. Serious conversations are important, but what's a life without laughter?
If you need some help putting your best foot forward so you can find the man of your dreams, take a look at my book, Think & Date Like A Man!