Tips to Help Working Mothers Focus On Their Sex-Life
How to Get Working Mothers In The Mood
Dear April Masini,
I've been married to my husband for 10 years and we have two kids, ages 5 and 7. I love my husband and find him very sexy; the problem is, I'm just not in the mood for sex very much anymore. I really wish I was, but after working all day and spending time with my kids all evening, at the end of the day I just want to crash into bed and fall asleep. I know this is frustrating for my husband, and I really want to try to be in the mood more. Please give me some relationship advice on how to get in the mood for sex more often. It could save my marriage!
Working Mother Not in the Mood
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Working Mother Not in the Mood,
The biggest problems that working mothers have when it comes to sex is...time and energy. It doesn't take an Einstein level physics equation to figure out that you can't make energy for sex when there is none left at the end of the day.
Here are the reasons why sex is often a problem for working mothers:
- Women tend to be caretakers -- of everyone but themselves! They put the job and the children before their relationship with their husband more often than not. This means sex suffers.
- Even when there is childcare involved in the equation, women tend to take on more of the childcare responsibilities and organizing duties than the husband. This is time consuming, and leaves her very little time and energy for sex.
- Resentment and anger tend to build when women are exhausted and unfulfilled. These emotions can block sexual impulses.
Ways to have a sex life if you're a working mother:
- Make sex a priority. Let the dishes go. Let something go. The kids can go without a bath one night. Whatever it is you have to let go in order to allow yourself the time and energy for sex, do it. Leave the house a wreck, and go away for the weekend -- or even a night -- to a local, but lovely, hotel.
- Get help with any obstacles you have towards sex -- and stop being everyone's caregiver. Enlist babysitters, neighbors, and relatives to take your kids so you can have child-free nights with your husband.
- Make your sexual self a priority. It's so easy to be practical when you're busy, but you leave a big part of yourself behind when you do that all the time, and that part is your sexual self. Buy yourself some sexy lingerie or clothing. Allow yourself a long, luxurious bath with scented candles, bath products, and music. Indulge your sensual self and you will nourish your sexual self.
And last but not least -- don't forget to take it easy. You're not going to go from a dry spell to an orgy. Start with a romantic dinner out. It will take both you and your husband some time to find your footing again. Go easy on yourself and him along the way.