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Understanding How Men Think

Understanding How Men Think

Understanding How Men Think

Decode Man-Think: Learn What Men Want and Care About

Advice Seeker :
Dear April Masini,

I don't know what's wrong with me...Every time I meet a new guy that I like, I get myself so worked up and nervous, worrying about every little detail, that I can't concentrate at work or sleep at night. Do you have any tips for what I need to do to become more comfortable around a new man?

Any Thoughts?  Help, Stressing and Obsessing


April Masini's Advice :

Dear Help, Stressing and Obsessing,

You clearly have spent too many sleepless nights wondering, worrying, questioning what to do about the guy you’re dating. Did you say something embarrassing on your last date? Do you know that he has a thing for blonds, and your hair is as dark as night? What about that purse you toted along last time? Was it all wrong for the occasion? Well, to hearken back to Susan Powers...Stop the insanity! Because I’ve got news for you, guys just don’t care.

Here’s the secret: Men like sex. They don’t like stress:

It’s not that men don’t notice the things you’re obsessing about, they might, they just could really care less. (Just read my book, Think & Date Like a Man, for proof). At least in the beginning of a relationship. And that’s because something else way more important to them is overshadowing everything else. Something that trumps that silly Jessica Simpson-esque question you asked. Or that tired outfit you wore. Here’s how your ”obsessions” are probably playing out in his head:

She didn’t exactly sound like a brainiac last night, but she sure blows my brain whenever we kiss. She snores when she sleeps, but she also sleeps in the buff. She’s can’t seem to keep her mouth shut, but it works to my advantage, to, because she loves oral sex. I can hear her pee, but as soon as she comes out of the bathroom, she’ll ride me like a wild Bronco. She’s on her period, but as soon as it’s over, we’ll have sex again. Actually, on second thought...why wait?

Are you starting to see the pattern? Of course, that’s at the beginning of the relationship. As time goes on, those things, even the ones that he actually told you he considers cute, will come to be perceived as less cute, and more annoying. This process is directly proportional to the amount of sex you’re having, or not having. The ratio is: The more sex -- the longer he’ll consider those things cute (or at least not annoying). Cut back on the sex and suddenly your snoring will be perceived as cannon fire, and all that cute talking you do? Good grief, can’t she ever give that mouth a rest (or at least figure out something better to do with it)?

Compliment Him and You’re Bound to Win:

While men might not worry about their weight or what they said (or didn’t say) nearly as much as we women do, they do have their own concerns, penis size being chief among them. Is it big enough to please? Or so big that it hurts you? What about the shape? Texture? Girth? Really, it’s a misconception to think that men doesn’t obsess.

But, much like our obsessions can be assuaged by sex - we give it, he overlooks our flaws, real or imagined - so, too is it important for us to help him through his. Like it or not, show your guy that his penis is perfect in every way, and you make him think you feel the same about him. Guys are simple like that. The bottom-line? You make a man feel good about himself and he’ll feel great about you and excited about being with you, too. And they, just like we, need to hear compliments every now and again.

Plain and Simple: Sex = Success (for a while):

I can only imagine that, after reading what I’ve written, some of you may be in a turned upside down right now - perhaps even feeling angry. After all, I’m telling you to stop obsessing about pointless details and start using your sexual power to your advantage to get what you want. And how totally politically incorrect is that! 

No One Should Rush Into A Sexual Relationship:

But let me be very clear - I am not implying, in anyway, shape, or form, that everyone (or anyone) should rush into a sexual relationship. Taking your time has its own advantages. However, the truth is, a man is much more likely to commit to - and stay in a relationship if it includes sex. Moreover, men go through life hoping and praying to one day meet that elusive beautiful and sexy woman who just can’t keep her hands off him. You can still be smart, and successful, and independent and still be that woman if you follow my advice in the book Think & Date Like A Man. The difference is you’ll be smart, successful, independent, not prone to pointless obsession, and engaged in a fulfilling, sexual relationship. Not bad. Not bad at all.