Wedding Advice - Extreme Weddings
Trends - Wedding Planner Advice
Dear April Masini,
I always had an idea of how a wedding "was supposed" to look. You know, the traditional wedding you always see in movies and dream of having yourself one day. But it seems like weddings are so far from traditional these days. Not only are they getting bigger and more extravagant, but some brides don't even wear white anymore, cupcakes are served instead of a wedding cake, and couples aren't getting married in churches. What gives?"
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Wayward Weddings,
Yes, trends in weddings are changing. Not only are they getting bigger, but some would even argue they're becoming extreme.
Is bigger better?...and other trends in weddings:
Anyone who's seen MTV's Sweet 16 reality show or read the New York Times recent article about Bar Mitzvahs knows that celebrations for young adults now rival weddings with DJs, bands, caterers, engraved invitations, and wildly expensive suits and dresses for teens who will not fit in the party clothes three weeks after the party because they're growing so fast. All this hoopla over parties raises the bar for weddings. And throw in the fact that first weddings are now only a portion of the wedding industry, eased out by second and third weddings, which include children and sometimes even grandparents from the first marriage, too. No wonder weddings now are over the top and so many brides look for novelty when they plan weddings.
Below are some of the new trends and exceptions I've seen:
- Color. White wedding gowns are now just for first time brides. And even first time brides are opting for pink -- the latest bridal fashion color.
- Who pays? Second, third, and fourth weddings are paid for by the couple -- not the parents. They're only on the hook for the first wedding.
- Buh-bye formality. Hotel weddings are only for first time brides. Second, third, and fourth time brides are opting for any venue but a hotel or reception hall. Museums, parks, zoos, and home weddings are in vogue.
- Registry redux. Tiffany's is unaffordable for most guests -- and impractical for most couples. Wedding registries include Home Depot, Crate and Barrel, and there are even honeymoon registries where bride and groom can register to have guests contribute to their honeymoon fund. I find this inappropriate and tacky, but to each his own! The point is, brides and grooms are more open about gifts.
- Cakes are no longer just vanilla. In fact chocolate cakes are a growing trend, as are cupcakes on a tiered presentation instead of a single cake.
Sometimes a walk down the aisle just won’t do it, and jumping out of a parachute together, or snorkeling with a member of the clergy who will do an underwater marriage are the only ways to make a wedding work for couples who like to go extreme.
3 reasons couples host extreme weddings:
- Many people marry more than once, and there is an urge to do things differently the second (or third, or fourth) time. Having an extreme wedding means that there is no chance of having a second wedding that is ANYTHING like the first one. In an attempt to differentiate from prior weddings, many couples go extreme.
- People who choose to do things in an extreme way may be attention seekers who are not comfortable with calm and normal. They need to have as much attention as possible, and the best way to do that is to do things that are out of the ordinary. Sometimes people who come from big families want attention paid to their wedding after all their siblings and cousins have had theirs that is different. Doing things "over the top," will get them special attention.
- Some couples, or one member of the couple, may have an adrenaline addiction in some form that makes them want to stir up drama and keep things risky, rather than calm. When an event or any part of their own life is calm, they feel antsy and need to do things (consciously or sub-consciously) to stir up excitement.