What do you say what your girlfriend gains weight?
Tips on What to Say When the Answer is Yes...She Has Gained Weight
Dear April Masini,
My girlfriend is the queen of ridiculous questions -- and ones that usually get me in trouble. "Do you think that girl is pretty?" "Am I wearing too much makeup?" and my personal dreaded question, "Do you think I'm getting fat?""
I love my girlfriend, but to be honest, she has gained a significant amount of weight since we met. I don't know why she keeps asking -- she has to have noticed. What do I do? I'm tired of saying no -- it's a blatant lie.
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Sensitive Boyfriend,
There are a few things you and any guy in your situation can do in this situation:
- If the guy wants to have sex with his girlfriend any time soon, then he should tell her that she's imagining things and she looks gorgeous. NEVER tell your girlfriend she's gained weight unless you want to break up and don't have the nerve to do it straight on.
- If the girlfriend has gained weight and the guy likes it then not only should he tell her that she looks incredible, he should tell her how much he likes her with a few curves -- and then show her by being more enthusiastic with sex, buying her gifts, or giving her appreciative looks and compliments.
Never tell her you like her extra junk in the trunk.
Never tell her you like that Anna Nicole Smith before the diet look.
Never tell her she reminds you of your mother's looks.
Never tell her that she's finally got some cleavage after all this time.
Tact, fellas. Tact. You like her with a few curves.
- If the girlfriend has gained weight and the boyfriend really is troubled and turned off by it, then he's not going to be attracted to her, and that's a relationship problem. The reason she's asking is because she already knows she's gained weight. She already knows you're turned off by it. She wants to hear you tell her you're still in the game with her. But the problem is, weight that causes a lack of attraction can be a deal breaker for some men. Appearances matter. And changes in weight can signify other things going on with the girlfriend or within the relationship. So, what to do?
Tell her she's gained a little weight, and you still love her. Let her be the one to say she'd like to lose the weight. Give her every opportunity to say it first. If she doesn't, then show her you'd like to help her lose the weight, and the way to show her is NOT by buying her a scale or a case of Jenny Craig meals. It's by buying the two of you mountain bikes, and incorporating exercise into your lives together. Join a gym together. Drop her at a yoga class while you go lift weights and then pick her up and go for fruit smoothies or sushi. Instead of taking her out for ribs, mashed potatoes and lemon meringue pie dinners, take her to restaurants where the food is health-conscious. Fish, steamed vegetables and sorbet can be very elegant in the right restaurant. And instead of going to a movie where there's popcorn, licorice, and tubs of soda pop to be had, go dancing, bowling, or take a long walk along the beach or the river.