What Role Does A Sense Of Humor Play In Attraction and Relationships?
What to Do When On An Incompatible Sense of Humor Date
Dear April Masini,
I am dating the perfect guy. He's the hottest person I've ever been out with, has a great job, treats me like a princess -- the whole nine yards. He's really smart and we have a lot to talk about but when I get home from dates I'm left feeling a little bit empty. To be honest, for all his intelligence, his humor is a little bit off. He relies on one-liners and dumb blonde jokes whereas I'm more of a sarcasm and wit type of girl."
It frustrates me to think I'll have to dump him over this. I've certainly put up with a lot worse! Do you have any advice for me?
Sincerely, Laughless and Loveless
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Laughless and Loveless,
There is so much joy and a feeling of “clicking” with someone when you both share the same point off view on family, life, career — and when you both have the same sense of humor and find the same things funny, it’s an aphrodisiac more potent than Viagra. In fact, why do you think the short, funny looking guys get the great girls? The funny is the sex appeal. And if you believe that — and you should because it’s true — you’ll understand that humor is a magnet between two people of the opposite sex.
It sounds like you've had that click before, and you're not having it with this guy. You need to assess (1) how off your senses of humor are, and (2) whether that's something you're wiling to deal with it.
Things to Think About:
- If he makes a joke and you’re waiting for the punch-line, long after the punch-line’s been told, you could have a deal breaker on your hands.
- If he makes a joke and you get it, but don’t think it’s that funny, you can learn to live with it. Not everybody is everything for everyone, and your partner doesn’t have to be (and probably won’t be) everything for you. The trick to a relationship is having enough of your needs met, and if he’s funny enough, then laugh it off and enjoy other things about him.
- If he makes a joke, and you laugh so hard your face hurts, but everything else isn’t in place, make a list of his assets and debits — and your compatibilities and incompatibilities. Include sense of humor as a compatibility and an asset. But it isn’t everything.
- If he’s funny and a jerk, drop him like he’s hot. You can pay 20 bucks at a comedy club to get a good laugh without having to sit through dinner and a movie — or more.