Your Date's Non Verbal Communication
Advice on How to Read Signals From Potential Dates
Dear April Masini,
I am just getting into the dating scene again after a long relationship, and need advice on picking up on signals from men. Last time I was single, most people my age were not married; now, it's 50/50. Are there any tips on how I can tell? And I can never tell whether men are trying to talk to me when they ask me for directions or comment on how long the bus is taking, or whether they're just being polite and friendly. Do you have any tips on how I can figure all of these dating puzzles out?"
Sincerely, Signal-Missing Single
April Masini's Advice :
Dear Signal-Missing Single,
Sizing people up is a biological imperative to survival. Whether you're sussing out safety, and fear levels are your tools; or you're sussing out dating and mating, and preening and discrimination are your tools -- they're all set up on your DNA to protect and propagate the species.
Here are tips for how you can check someone out:
1. A wedding band is obviously worn by someone who is married, but some married men do not wear wedding bands.
2. Someone who smiles at you or makes introductory comments like, "Those are great shoes," or "Lousy weather today," is trying to strike up a conversation with you.
3. Shoes say a lot about a person. Women in heels are interested in looking sexy, while women in flats are interested more in comfort. Men with good shoes care about making an impression, while men who don't care about their shoes may be telling the world, "Deal with me on my terms."
4. If he or she starts "advertising" his or her personal life without being asked, you can be sure they're trying to sell you on them. For instance, if they mention their ex-wife, they want you to know they're single. If they mention their job, they're letting you know their success level. Any time someone offers up personal information, they want to engage you.
Communication is 60% non verbal and 40% verbal -- and of that verbal communication, only 10% of it is words, and the other 30% is how the words are said.