CHAPTER 1: Experience
That's what you get, when you don't get what you want!
A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That's why they don't get what they want — Madonna
In the dating arena, as in life, most people fail because they have not defined success—they have not identified what it is that they want to achieve. Simply put, most people are indecisive, and indecisiveness almost always equals failure. It is paralyzing. It is debilitating. And perhaps no where is this more true than in romantic endeavors.
When it comes to dating, indecision—the lack of really knowing exactly what you're looking for—leads to spending valuable time, money, and energy pursuing girl after girl that you aren't all that jazzed about. And while you're out with "Ms. Right Now", you're probably spending even more valuable time and energy wondering what you're doing wrong... why can't you find, meet, and date "her"—the one—the girl of your dreams.
Time is our most valuable commodity—it is one thing that we can never get more of. NEVER waste time.
Well, have you ever stopped to consider that perhaps the reason you haven't met "her" is because you really haven't defined who she is?
Let's look at it this way: If I was the proverbial Jeannie in the bottle and stood before you, arms crossed, and ready to blink "her" to you, who would she be? Can you describe her? What are her physical characteristics? Tell me about her personality.
Just for clarification, let’s think about it this way: What would you say if I said to you, “Today I’m going to buy the car of my dreams …”?
You: “Oh really? That’s great. What kind of car is it?”
Me: “You know, I haven’t really decided.”
You: “What do you mean? How can you tell me you’re going
to get ‘the car of your dreams,’ when you don’t even know
what kind of car you want!? … Women!”
Me: “Hmm … That’s an interesting concept! … I actually
have to know what I want in order to get it?”
The situation seems absurd. Of course I have to know what
type of car I want before I can buy it. Nonetheless, I suspect
you can see my point—right?
Indecision is a decision.
It’s a choice you make not to decide.
So great, now that we’re in agreement that we have to narrow down the playing field, and make decisions about what we want in order to succeed in getting it, I’ve got some bad news for you. First, my name isn’t Jeannie, and second, I don’t have any magical powers. So it’s time to get real. In addition to figuring out who this “dream girl” of yours is, and what qualities attract you to her, we also must figure out where she is and how you’re going to nab her.
Illustrations by Dan the Cartoon Man